Are Parents Superior to Children?

"Living out the belief that we are superior to our children merely because we are adults implies that our children are less important simply because they are young." -Natalie Tellish

Kids. They don’t have their own money or the ability to earn it and have little to no control over their own schedule. During a significant portion of their lives, it’s even required they ask permission to use the restroom!

It’s clear to see that kids are powerless if we stop to think about it.

Adults do not have the same limitations and expectations put on them that children do, and it’s important that as parents, we become aware of the ways we can offer our children opportunities to make their own choices and feel autonomy over their own lives.

We limit their screen time but use our own electronics without restriction. We don’t allow them to have snacks when it’s bedtime, but if we are hungry, we do not tell ourselves that the kitchen is closed. As adults, we can eat in the living room, but we tell our kids they must eat at the table. We can feel grumpy, irritable, and angry. But when our children do the same thing, we call them disrespectful.

By living our daily lives within these dynamics, we are insinuating that we are superior to our children simply because we are adults. The children have no choice but to conclude that they are inferior to us--- less than--- not as important or worthy. And then, with that dynamic and those feelings present, we expect them to cooperate with our every demand with smiles on their faces.

It’s likely that our parents treated us this way.

They told us, “You’re not mature enough to handle {fill in the blank},” and, “When you pay the bills, you can make the rules.” We carry this concept into our own parenting without remembering how hurtful it was to us at the time.

So, am I saying we should let our children do whatever they want, whenever they want? Absolutely not. We need to set healthy boundaries for our kids based on agreed upon family values.

However, we need to model the self-discipline, freedom to make mistakes, and show ourselves, our partners, and our children grace when things don’t go as intended. So here are a few Happy Mom Hacks for setting expectations with and for your kids.

Team Work

Team work is a Happy Mom Hack for many reasons, and today it will help your with your Stress Free Summer. Working through things as a team is a great way to help kids learn to resolve conflicts. If we are constantly overpowering them to make life more convenient for us, the only thing they are learning is that whoever has the most power in a situation is the one who gets to be “right.”

Plus, sitting down and treating our children as equals in terms of having their own valid thoughts, feelings, and needs, goes a long way. What do you expect form your children about their emotions and behaviors? How does that align with what you've been learning about your emotional freedom? If you are holding your children to the very expectations others have put on your emotions, the same ones you're trying to learn how to walk in freedom from, resentment is bound to build up.

Let’s make sure that the expectations we set are ones the entire family is willing to implement, follow, and hold one another accountable to.

Keep It Age-Appropriate

Another great tool is knowing which behaviors are age-appropriate for your children at their ages and stages. The reason it's important to be mindful not to set expectations that are outside the realm of being age-appropriate for a child is that it sets them up for situations where they simply cannot be successful.

Build Your Community

One thing that is so important to remember is that you're not doing this alone! Join the community where parents are learning to challenge their current beliefs and consciously choose a more empowered way of treating themselves and their children.

This is a space where parents can learn the tools and process of parenting, effectively, without punishment. Becoming emotionally mature guides for our children, we are truly trailblazers! Working together, using nonviolent communication— this is not how the majority of us were parented, so having a community of likeminded parents can be an incredible support system as we learn and grow together.

Aromatherapy for Your PAM

There is great set of essential oils to use to help you heal with your past and empower you to create peaceful parenting. Oils help balance emotions, help make feelings more manageable. The right kind of essential oils get into the limbic portion of the brain through your sense of smell.

• Inner Child is an essential oil blend that will support you if you're struggling with emotions or negativity. These emotions can cause you to lose yourself, your true identity.

• Operating in harmony with other people keeps the negativity away and allows others to help you and you to help others.

• Present Time helps you focus on the here and now so you can get beyond the past and move forward.

• Valor can help start each morning with a positive attitude or refocus at the end of a challenging day.

These are just a few of the amazing options you have available to you! If you'd like to learn more click here and make sure to use Brenna as your referring member so you get your full Empowered Motherhood support team! (Member # 2645436)

Ready for More Conscious Parenting

If you’re interested in learning more about setting boundaries according to your family values and holding those boundaries without the use of punishment or force, let’s talk! I help families build deep, meaningful connections within their homes and work through conflicts peacefully, as a team.

As a thank you to the Empowered Motherhood community for having me here as a guest writer, I am offering 2 free discovery sessions for you this week. You can reach out to me here to book one today!

I look forward to connecting with you!

With so much love!

xoxo,