“More often than not, a heroes most epic battle is the one you never see; it’s the battle that goes on within him or herself.”
- Kevin Smith
My Year Long Battle
If there is one thing that this last year of life has taught me, it is that the real battles happen when no one sees them. It's the battles that rage on inside of you when you haven't had more than 3 hours of sleep at night and you still have a business to run, you still have a family to take care of, you still have ball practice, you still have groceries to get.
These pictures are of my family in the middle of the biggest part of the battle. We were starting up a coffee shop and bistro. The first week we were open we didn't get home until midnight each night. There were close up processes that we were getting nailed down, there were ball practices, there were groceries for the store, groceries for our home, baths, kids need sleep for school but they were up early and up late. We were physically sick for a long time period. Worry overwhelmed every piece of us.
For a year I stopped surrendering to the belief and faith that God had refined in me. Instead I surrendered to the circumstances, reacting to life as it came. I tried to stand on the faith that was always there at my core, that knowing, but I had let so much of it go that my emotional wellbeing was wavering too much. I traded the solid rock for shifting sands.
Then it all came crashing down. We were overwhelmed with a decision that we had to make. How do we know what to do? And God spoke;